爱 changed the way i looked at how relations go.
it made me think of my 'break'
after being taken advantage of, lele is still willing
to be back with shixian.
after much confrontations and remininsce(sp), they got back together.
thinking abt the way they reconcile(sp), i figured we(my case) never did have a chance of getting back.
we didnt have as many memorable memories that i can think of. it helps me understand why she left. being uncertain, caught up in the torrent of exams, figured i did be willing to give up on something to secure my future.

probably i wanted to find out how long i am willing to hold on, how long i intend to spend figuring ways out to get inner peace that i am still not looking for anyone.

too much eye candy is bad for the body.

do i still like her as much as before? probably not.
the feeling i get now is due to not getting an answer face to face,
be it yes or no, the answer will probably make me put it down.
its the feeling of letting her down because i became irrational,
gave up my studies and drown myself in gaming.
i cant even be her friend after the several years we spent
being rather close.
but i guess its alright, i m not a ppl person.

but in the case of minsc's her,
its a different matter.
she probably feels dirty and not willing to commit
thus hops from one to another when she feels they are getting too close.
i may be dead wrong.

but i like the way life is now.
i do not wish to get tied down by life thus i guess its best
i remain single.(for now?)