i wanted to find myself, the true me within the fantastic worlds that others create
yet i only found the similarities they have with the real world
repetitive, cold and full of conflict

everything out there want to make u unique, the best, the strongest
yet when compared plainly with others,
they make u seem so insignificant

if being unique is thru using ur feelings and ways of expressing
everyone will sooner or later copy that
uniqueness feels similar.
how do i create something that a pessimist like me will not find any faults with it?


i feel drained
the little creative juices i have is virtually nonexistent now
seeing so many games with about the same experiences make me think abt my future
its like ima another dumb grunt going into war following
how do i create when almost -_- everything has been done before
probably by having another point of view
but it doesnt come
because i seldom read nowadays
of what i read calms me and betters my day
but it doesnt make me do more creatively
time i spent dwelling on problems
its hard to concentrate when u have many modules
yet its hard to create something unique when u have only 1 goal
which probably many have already done similar things before you.

worlds within worlds
psychology if i fail at games designing.