now i have spent 12 of 14 days of hols not doing work
i have 2 days to do 2 wks of work
epic

i dont know why i cant find the drive anymore
i lost it since then
found a little bit of it
but it aint as strong as it was

i really do wan to move on, to study/work more
but nothing seems to get my unwavering attention
they do catch my eye but soon i will lose the attention

as my 19 bdae wish
i hope to:
1. figure out my drive
2. another cheese cake
3. get a 1 day date with anna
4. spend a day not worrying but doing

somehow including the date made me smile
but i know it cant happen
did my hopes meter reached zero cos i have been spending much of it on anna
like the song
shes young, and i shouldnt depend on her so much
each of us are dependent on someone else
me to my wishful thinking
the thing wif cy is tt i dont worry abt myself when i m wif him
yet when i tink abt it
i feel all torn inside
its this feeling abt the future, my immediate concerns and myself.

this love
been poisoning me
yet i take the toxic willingly
is it only with this toxic that i can live on?
when, how can i find a replacement
it really is dangerous
having chat wif anna agn on fb
i 'saw' her face agn
'heard' her voice agn
yet it cant wake me frm my slumber