i will support you if u are still single at 35. said chun yin.
it felt weird as a guy, but its a bet to remain single.
how do people actually get into a relationship?
by chance or choice?
of wat chance do i have meeting someone that both of us have mutual feelings for?
if given a choice will anyone go out with me?
those questions sound nerdy
of people i know, know about my devotion
of people i dont, know about my i-dont-speak-much side.
of the things i loved abt myself
is that i can keep smiling
and that i give off that look when i look into people's eyes.
my physical build has deteriorated.
i never looked handsome
i dont have much achievements
i have no talents
i shut myself in.
is it my mentality, my upbringing and my problems that made me so?

of chun yin
hes a pillar
my second best friend (best is my mind)
his 'blind' love made me ponder if i can still love

if i were to chose
will i know how to choose?
what kept me from finding another girl is amazingly this sentence
lust not from the loins but love from the heart, quoted from a hentai
of each girl i wanted to court
i asked myself this question
do i want to love her with all my heart?
i cant, i find myself saying
this familar face always appears
i tried to forced it aside with lust, it didnt budge.
finding myself an oddity for not spending my youthful days chasing girls but instead
compelling myself to love(?) just one girl.

i have already became a burden to her.
so there is no chance for her to accept me agn.
of what my intuition tells me,
2 emo kids cant be together, they did only get depressed
she seems lively without me in her life.
forgotten, chucked aside to somewhere only i can discover,
do i know i cant get back into her heart?
do i know i cant spend years asking myself the same questions
do i know my mind is telling me i have to try getting girls agn


i shall spend a portion of my years doing something for her, as a last gift
i hope this will let me forget.
i loved the people i love the most with all my heart, but is this love a burden?


i still havnt ask lou abt her reply.