having asked louisa to ask whether i can get in touch with anna,
i asked myself
whats stopping me from asking that myself as was most of the things i done in sec sch, getting help frm louisa.
every time i start to think abt anna,
lots of emotions start to overwhelm me
sorting them out 1 by 1 prove to be a painstaking task.
of them,
i still felt love, but of a different sort than before.
wats b4 was obssessive
now its tt sort that ask how shes been, knowing how emo she always was
if it wasnt love tt kept me wanting to see her agn
is it the fact tt i have been denied the promise of being steads?
being denied, i sought to be told in the face tt i aint good enuf
as compared to sparring, not striking back is an insult
i need to see tt f-up, angry face tt says it all.

a week had passed since i asked louisa
if i talked to anna agn
will it make me desire her more
will it make me lose my mind
will it release me frm my prison
firstly i seek forgiveness for my actions
then i ask tt i be her fren agn
if all the surveys i took gave me the quality of strength,
how cant i stand the temptation
i seriously hope she could take those surveys and give me a sort of reference to her
was it the memory of her tears tat stopped me frm talking to her?

its been so long
so long i had almost forgotten what kind of character she has
after all as a straight-minded person, i never lie to my heart.

every post heres been an emo one...
i wonder if the air cadets has seen stuff like this