how did i get past secondary sch i kept asking myself
is it due to my 'infatuation' that i am able to keep up with the demands of sec sch life?
is it that i need to prove myself to be top of the cohort or at least comparable with the one i am 'infatuated' with?
or is it due to my classmates that i am able to survive
seeing them chatting, acting stupid and joking around is to me one of the finest enjoyments of life although i always stay behind my almost impassive face.

the troubles cy has, has affected me too
it made me rethink my motivations to keep moving
if gaming has kept me going, what do i do when there are no games left for me to play or having not enuf gaming time
now i m suffering cos i am lacking a good, soul-enriching game to play.
today i has 2 hw left each needing around 6 hours each... i wonder if i can finish it.

having taken a love survey
the results are kinda astonishing.
it said i m someone who will chase after a person with all my heart but when i gotten what i wanted, i m gonna stop and not give attention to her anymore
personally i feel that is accurate information
yes i do love her even till now mayb becos i couldnt get wat i wanted till now
and i m afraid that i will hurt any girl that loves me too.

being on facebook has been awesome.
u hear lots of gossip kinda like back with my classmates
but it made me felt even more empty
so near yet so far comes to mind.
the same qns i asked myself sometime ago, cy asked me agn
how can she go on with her life even though we broke.
mine mayb isnt as serious
but i still do gaze at her photo, wondering how can she still smile so happily while i m still hurting badly.

most of the time i m happy
but stuff happens and i write all my thoughts here.
of those that read this blog, who had their opinions changed, who blacklisted me, who still care for me, i dont know, but i m kinda public abt such stuff.


today might be a relapse since i m stressed over hw.