Listening to Kim Jong Kook and Gary Songs, helps.
I think about what was lacking and realize that it was never meant to be.
Somehow, i finally see that the nightly 10pm messages were like something compared to calling Kian Lam, Bing Hong, other friends that call her for work.They become a way for me to talk to her.

It becomes a habit, something i tried hard to get rid of.
I appreciate that she was willing to msg me on her fathers phone.
Yet feelings, facial expressions, little stuff like tone, stuff which I cant catch are not conveyed.
I am delusional, almost close to blind faith.
The belief that I was able to be with her.
At least to hold her hands and stare at her face without anyone else.

Here's to finding someone else to chat with online.
A 21 yr old lady, not sure if she's cute but has a good feeling.
So out of practice with ladies, time to bust out my old charms.

KJK and Gary songs really help, especially when I read the eng subs.
I feel at peace and am excited to find the right one.

Kim Jong Kook ft. Kang Gary - 다시 내게로 돌아와 (Come Back To Me Again) [Han & Eng]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLn4IONDIKA