I've been jogging more than usual this month.
Its when my mind is the clearest and most focused on one thing, getting to the end.
Previously, its always been shifting between anna, my life and my goals,
now its much more focused on moving forwards.
Perhaps, I am fed up with waiting and slacking for too long.
I need a job, but I am too picky.
Perhaps I need a job to, to get more experience.

Its been dogging me for so long.
I've finally decided to put a stop to it.
But its dragging on still.
Really hard to get it out of my mind.
It ended for her, erm, 4 years ago?
So, I am not sure why cant I get a definite No from her.
Had it been so clear, yet I am not willing to see it.
I wonder if its possible to stop trying to want to talk to her.
These years after secondary school, I am sure I am much more matured and reasonable
I just want to talk to her, not try to crush her with my unreasonable emotional stuff that I spew often.
My previous email have been pretty reasonable and controlled in comparison to others.
I addressed her properly, trying my best to want to finish my unfinished business with her.
I suppose her fear from past experiences told her not to read my email.
Perhaps, I shouldnt have confessed and save her from all the hurt Ive caused her.