being asked questions always brings out some points that u most likely missed when debating with urself
so as always, chun yin asked this qn:
have u found anyone that u want to know better?
normally i did reply, yup u know me best, its still her
i found myself answering tat i had given up.

looking at the photos tat are on anna's blog
strangely enough, they didnt excite me as much as they used to
guess she finally inserted photos when she's certain that after such a long time, i wont have this sort of sudden spike of emotions for her.
i did want to apologize to her.
but always i found myself typing some idiotic paragraphs on how confused i m, how much i missed her, y i cant stop, etc.
what i really do want is for her to meet me face to face.
i'm gonna say i still love her.
get smacked.
apologize and
End it.
this sort of feelings that causes outrageous outbreaks are meant to be stopped abruptly with force.
hearing a stop it, expressions that convey the same msg, esp the eyes.
that will do.
And i guess one of the main reasons i really cant get over it,
is due to the fact that i aint proficient at finding gfs or have a wide social network to get acquainted with other girls.
as such i m resolved to b single.
cy got afraid that i might become gay and sat a few more paces away from me.
*through this 'relationship'
i discovered i am a person who remembers ppl by their movements, famous phrases and how much they matter to me


on a side note,
ba zhang asked me to meet up with him b4 he gets dragged to Tekong.
i found myself thinking what should i talk with him abt.
after all we only know each other thru the eraser/chess gang.
i doubt i m considered a real fren compared to louis and wen yuan.