Well, Everyone breaks at some point.

My mom gathered us to talk about our family suddenly.
She had been suppressing her emotions for 25 years she said and now its time to live her life, rejecting anything preposterous. This show of emotions is disturbing, it makes me question whether i need to prepare to live by myself. It also brings about the question of whether I will have to support my siblings for their university if anything happens.

Somehow i remembered this conversation with anna, talking about our families.
I realized we were both at odds with our parents. At that point, i guess it sorta hinted that our relationship will never last past sec sch. Parents demand certain things and at that point we weren't able to make our decisions. And i was so consumed by rage with my dad that my emotions weren't stable, coupled with the feeling of let down by her that i totally spiraled out of control by Os.
Feeling so dispirited by my results, I decided to choose what i desired and will make my dad mad for making me focus on A maths, thus DMD. Poly followed and well, the discovery that I am not gifted in arts is disappointing. Still remember a lecturer saying this: "Hard-work will only get you a C, you need to be talented for an A.", or that's how i remembered it.

I will continue on.
Probably for unpaid work and to slog on till I reach my Goals.
I've already burned the bridge, might as well finish what i set out to do.


And i unloaded so much of my hidden anger on her.
No words can express how much i regretted my lost of control.
I will probably keep myself single so as to stop this cycle of abuse.