only 2 things in this world actually bothers me.
1) my NCC career as a USM
2) the relationships i built with those true friends.

1) steping down soon, people blog down all their feelings and past experiences. being someone of the NCC AIR that i am proud of, takes full commitment and perservance. you strive hard, we see it, we will recognise it.
as a sec 1, we were "tortured" by our dear Snr Rachel. best staff ever, even thou an APS. even thru all this punishments (evry trn, knock down, ganged by top 5, shouting at the top of their voices), those that survived from this punishments get stronger, more bonded. UGs give people this sense of bonding that none other CCAs can expect to forge, thru thick and thin, backstabbings, working together under particularly DIFFICULT Sirs. WOW!!!
people from other CCAs respect those that uphold this code of conduct of UGs.

as a sec 2, none saw me as a USM. i was quiet and unwilling to speak up. like what the Sirs say, given the responsibilty, one will be more confident. i am really thankful for being given the chance.

sec 3, people prefer to call the sec 2 yr the make-or-break year, but i feel the sec 3 yr suits this better.
we backstab, conflicts, rebellions, power struggles, headstrong PSes (SRY!!!), all sors of other things. however this year, NCOs motivate us. this motivation pushes us on to do even better. in sec 3 those who feel distant may suddenly become the one that you will work with, your close fren, those that you feel are your best fren may suddenly disappear. Power struggles. which to choose.... we learn bout decisions and the responsiblity required to make sure it happens.

Being a member of the NCC AIR family, i say that UGs create great leaders that are willing to lead, support and bear the brunt of all. those out there, be proud and honored as a part of US. be the great leader you are suppose to be. The confidence UG found me, gave me more opportunties to interact, helped me find more frens who are willing.

i do not wish to disclose any postings here, in case any cadets find their way here. Until next time...

2) True relationships, a word i dread, are hard to forge, it takes similar experiences and the willingness to be open with each other. some i do not bind to me, letting them go with their frens, others i just remind myself that true frens are hard to come about. i rather not have frens, in case i bind them to me. why the need of another burden??

i am comfortable with being alone, just someone whom i can talk to.

affairs of the heart... what comes naturally, i cant deny. what i want, i stated. but this cant work! definite ans need to know, not from someone. i just cant take the facts lying down, thou i truely believe, but i need to see, at least hear. some encouraged me, most discourage me. what to believe, what not to... i pretend not to hear. feelings are undeniable. so how do i compare myself with a close fren, thou it was stated down clearly, frens only... i still feel my position threatened.

a long wait awaits, who noes, time changes, people change, uncertain bout future. Patience and foresight learnt from playing chess, i hoped to use it wisely and not foresee myself in the pits.

4 more days to go. wonder if it can be given, like last yr, kept it till this yr. i wonder... something for me to remind myself of the matter?? something for me to think about ?? haiz.

AFTER ROD, 15 JUNE.
hope i dont cock up again...